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She had not been expected till the last days of the month, when the nobles and gentry had been summoned to welcome her Majesty. No preparation had therefore been made to receive her, but the two "Neds" Gus and Joe, (circled) soon brought out the people in crowds to greet her. Mary, spoke Scots with a French accent, as did others of lower order. On landing in the forenoon beside the King's Wark, a part of the Shore that has seen so much of the pageantry of Scottish history, she was received by the boys and a great crowd of all ranks. As no preparation had yet been made for her at Holyrood she "dynit in Gus's house," in Leith, where, according to John Knox, she remained till towards evening. Tired of French cuisine, Mary came in search of "Stovies", made with the finest corned beef money could buy. They dined until they could eat no more, and then her Majesty and her posse, proceeded to Dizzies Lounge Bar, the world famous tavern on Buchanan Street. There, the wine and ale flowed freely and much merriment was had by all as it was Ye Auld Karaoke Neet that starred the one and only, Sir Sydney of the House of Muir. On leaving the tavern, the now loud, rowdy revellers, Gus and Joe got the French Burd "doon the road" safely and after dropping off Queen Mary at Andrew Lamb's house where she was crashing, the two Neds got literally, drenched in "pesh" as they couldn't run fast enough when someone shouted "gardy-loo" from one of the local tenements....... "TO GO OUT AND GET PESHED!!!!" |
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Fancy Dress Ball, Leith Assembly Rooms... (March 2 2003) The Fray Bentos Appreciation Society Annual "History Re-enactment Ball" went horribly wrong yesterday evening as armed officers of the Leeth Poleeth stormed the celebrity bash after an anonymous tip off was made to Constitution Street nick that quantities of stolen corned beef were being served up in vol en vents to unsuspecting "revelers". Two Neds were seen sculking away with a large booty of corned beef shaped tins. The Leeth Poleeth have issued a statement saying that they believe this was just another audacious raid by those desperados known as "The Gang of Greys". Leeth Poleeth suspect the two Neds (circled) to be the Key Openers behind this PILFERING, PENSIONER POSSE |
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Was it "Dizzies Pensioners"? After heroic geriatric antics last week, when Lidl superstore was robbed, today, 4 unnamed grey "ram raiders" turned their attention to St Columba's Hospice Charity Shop on Leith Walk. This time, after ram raiding the shop window with a shopping trolley, they got away with 4 tea-sets, 10 metres of net curtain and 5 tea towels estimated at a grand total of £12.49p. It has not been confirmed for certain that it was the "Dizzy Ram raiders" or if it was a copycat gang. The "gang of grey" are instilling major fear into charity shop volunteers across the city and the "Leeth Poleeth" are interested in talking to anyone who may have witnessed the incident. We are all warned not to buy second hand nets or crockery from anyone over the age of 65. |
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Once inside the shop, they ran over three children and two pensioners from the Banany flats. They choreed a box of corned beef and bolted from the mall in what was said to be a daring stunt. Little did they realise that the shop was still open and they could have used the door. They will appear in court next month. We will keep you informed as the story unfolds. |